Bemom

We love you, Bemom. You'll be forever in our hearts.

This is somewhat therapeutic for me. I just need to get it out...

Yesterday, I got the call that my mother-in-law had passed away very suddenly. She was a very healthy woman and this was a complete shock to us all. Our family is beyond devastated. Karen, was not simply my mother-in-law, in fact, she was one of my very best friends. She was my biggest cheerleader, confidant, supporter and we were closer than perhaps most women are even as close to their own mothers. I'm taking this very hard.

I met Karen when I was 20 years old. She and my father-in-law are not married, but have been together for over 3 decades. She immediately accepted me as part of the family and the more I got to know her to deeper I fell I love with her. She was the smartest, kindest and most brilliant woman I had ever known.

When my husband and I would argue, Karen was the first person I would call. I suppose she gave me the best advice on how to live with Martin Tiernay, as she had spent her life living with Martin James and they are absolutely cut from the same mold. She would tell me, "Alice Anne, there's a reason why those Loftus men need women like us... We're the only ones that handle them!"

Karen was there with me through the pregnancy and birth of both my babies. She loved those children with all her heart. Marissa was especially close to her. They would spend hours upon hours playing dress up, hosting tea parties, talking about birds (a love of nature that they both shared immensely!) and doting over Bebop. Karen loved to shower Marissa with beautiful dresses and toys and books; she spoiled the girl rotten! Karen's greatest strength (and weakness) was her ability to follow orders without fail when it came to Marissa. I really believe that Marissa was her world and vice versa.

As Christian was getting older, he was becoming closer and closer to Karen. He adored his Bemom. One day they spent together playing and then Christian had to take a nap. When he awoke, Bemom had already gone home. He searched the house, and after several minutes, his first words were, "My Bemom left me." I immediately called Bemom to tell her what he had said and she just laughed and then cried! She said it warmed her heart to the core because he was finally understanding and loving her!

Our lives are forever changed. The loss of Karen, Bemom, Friend, is so intense I feel empty and completely heartbroken. As much as I cherish and appreciate my time with her and feel blessed to have been able to have her in my life, I feel robbed. I feel that it just wasn't enough time and I'm devastated. I ache for my children and their loss, I worry for my father-in-law and I grieve for all our family. Karen was simply, the most wonderful person we have ever known and we love her more than words can express.

May God help us find peace and may Karen always know how much we love her. We will carry her in our hearts for all our days....

Family Update

I feel awful that I don't keep up with this blog as much as I do with Figuring It Out. I guess I just don't have tons to share that most people don't already know!

Life is super crazy right now as we wind down with the end of the school year. Marissa has dance recitals, lacrosse, piano, playdates, etc. I feel like her calendar is busier than mine! Tonight we have recital pictures and I won't lie that I'm probably more excited about it than she is. I absolutely love having a girly girl and the costumes, make-up, hair do's and glitz are just perfect for us both!

She plays lacrosse (LAX) two nights a week and she's really enjoying it. I'm proud of her; she's really pushing herself physically and participating in something she's not very skilled at. As long as she enjoys it, I will support it!

She had a piano recital a couple weeks ago and boy did she make us proud! She looked so tiny next to that big grand piano, but she played her "Baa Baa Black Sheep" with confidence, poise and without error! I definitely had to fight back tears!

Christian is more boy than I can handle! He's fearless, energetic, fiesty and all loverboy! He bats those big brown eyes at me and I melt. Marty tells me that I have no control over the child...he's probably right. I can't help it. He's in the potty training stages, and is as inconsistent as Maryland weather. I'm in no rush though. I'd be happy to keep him as a baby forever! He's moving up to the pre-k 3's class in June and I'm having a hard time with him growing up so fast!

Marty is busy at work, despite the economic times, he's staying busy. We're thankful for our jobs and just hoping to survive these hard times. I think things will get a little worse before they get better. I'm definitely thankful that Marty has a good head on his shoulders and had the foresight to buckle down and prepare for the hard times!

The preschool is going well, I'm pluggin' away and getting ready for the summer session to begin. Enrollment will be lower this summer, but I think we're all looking forward to the smaller class sizes and personal attention we can give the kids. The camps look like they are going to be tons of fun and then we'll be set to start the fall school year off with a BANG!

I'm 14 weeks out from my women's figure competition. I'm hitting it hard. I struggle some with the nutrition (not eating enough) but the workouts are going really well. Marty has been a huge support and my friends and family are such wonderful cheerleaders! I hope everyone can make it Washington, DC Aug. 14th to cheer me on!

So that's the Loftus Update! I'll keep you all posted!

Easter Pictures!

Friends

Friday night, we took our 5 year old daughter and her friend to see STOMP. There were absolutely adorable! We took them to a nice dinner beforehand and they were just giggling and acting as sweet as could be! It reminded me of what friendship really means; having someone there to share a special moment; a laugh, a smile, a tear.

The girls ordered the same dinner, talked about how "yummy" it was. They complimented each other's fancy dresses, held each other's hands, shared a dessert and just thoroughly enjoyed each other's company for the entire evening.

That same night, I received a text message from my best friend as she was excited about some new dinner menu planning she had just done. She's been following my journey through health and fitness and I suppose I've inspired her to some level. So we exchanged messages, learned that we were both running a 5k the following morning and wished each other the best.

During my race, I thought about my friend; I missed her terribly. After the race I immediately texted her to let her know my time and I waited until she finished to hear hers. Turns out we ran it in exactly the same time! How we wished we could have ran together, rather than on opposite ends of the country!

My life is rich in friendship and happiness. I am thankful for the friends in my life and I'm even more thankful to see my children share in that joy as they make their own friends.

"Happiness is time spent with a friend and looking foward to sharing time with them again."- Lee Wilkinson

Empathy and Comfort

On the car ride home today, my daughter announces that she's been having trouble sleeping at night because she hears noises. I tell her that sometimes houses make noise or it could be the wind or an animal in the woods. She doesn't find comfort in my words. She continues to explain how she's afraid of the dark and she doesn't want to sleep when she hears scary noises.

After several moments of silence (I was at a loss at how to comfort her and assure her that she was safe and that everything was ok) my two-year-old son speaks up and says, "Marissa, there are no monsters in the house, only storms outside. Storms are always happy and they will not scare you." I wanted to laugh, then cry, at the sincere honesty and care that my young son offered to his sister! He was so "matter-of-fact" and brave. The two of them chatted all the way home about monsters and storms and wouldn't you know it, we didn't hear a word about being scared of noises or the dark when it was time for bed this evening!

Take Time to Laugh at Yourself

Life isn't always easy. We deal with the daily stresses, emotional break-downs, arguements and insecurities. We all have our issues but we all must decide each and every day how we're going to tackle the world!

This morning, as I dressed up for work (its St. Patrick's Day) I felt child-like; care-free. As I entered my preschool, people smiled, many giggled and my mood immediately lifted! I realized, that I could bring laughter and happiness to others because I was willing to be silly and laugh at myself!

I take my work and myself very seriously. However, I believe that we all must take moments to enjoy ourselves, show our humor and share our silliness. Have you laughed at yourself today?

Why I Dread the Dentist

So my kids had dentist appointments on Saturday. I was already prepared for what they would have to say about Marissa's teeth. Marissa was blessed with my soft teeth and despite our tireless efforts to brush, floss, rinse, etc, we ALWAYS have cavities! She has another cavity and is scheduled for another filling next week. BLAH.

Christian on the other hand...well, he got his father's genes. Perfect teeth, perfect spacing, no cavities (can you guess how many times I've been able to wrangle him down to get a brush and paste on his teeth?) It makes me laugh, but I'm happy that we won't have the dental bills of fillings and crowns for him!

So, Marissa is in Kindergarten. She's never been late or even missed a day of school. We are very proud of her perfect attendance. Well, the dentist office was completely booked for all their Saturday appointments for the next 3 months (I can't wait that long to have her get her filling) so she has to miss a morning next week of school. I know, I know, not a big deal, but it just stinks that they couldn't get her in even in the afternoon; apparently because of her age they want to see her first thing in the morning-which isn't until 10 am for them, which means she'll miss the first 3 hours of school! I'm being petty, but it just makes me frustrated!

I guess the lesson in this, I need to work harder to keep her from getting cavities so that we don't have to cram fillings into the middle of the week! Any advice?