Tough Decisions

I have found that any time I am experiencing great personal growth, it usually involves having to make a tough decision. Either with work, marriage, child rearing, friendships, money, life is all about choices and most of the time they aren't easy. I guess if everything were easy, I would not really grow.

So many times you hear those tired quotes and cliches about growth and accomplishment; "mistakes are not failure, but a chance to learn and grow"... What does that mean? Are there really any wrong answers? Are we all just floating around in chaos and occasionally bumping into opportunity and good fortune? Is all this planning and thinking honestly getting me anywhere? Who truly wins in the end?

I feel that I often struggle with what my heart wants and my head knows. I'm sure I'm not the only one that finds myself in that predicament. I'm always battling with internal conflict. I'm either always winning or always losing. Its tiring.

So for today, I'm faced with the questions: Should we plan that trip? Did I do the right thing by having Marissa at horse camp? Do I need to let someone go? Do I really need a housekeeper? Should we hold off on the home renovations? Should I invest in this business opportunity? The list goes on and on! I'm filled with doubt, guilt, hope, anxiety and excitement. I guess sometimes you just have to make a choice and hope for the best. I take comfort in knowing that I'm not alone...

Kindergarten Readiness

With my education background and working with my own preschool and children, I have learned, created and implemented many strategies and practices that focus on Kindergarten Readiness. I have spent countless hours and endless amounts of energy doing everything I could possibly think of to provide a learning environment that fostered growth and development for young students.

Over the years I have researched curricula and worked diligently to ensure that my preschool and ultimately MY child would be equipped with the tools necessary for her to succeed in elementary school and further more as a life-long learner. This is what we call, "Kindergarten Readiness". Marissa will go to a fantastic Kindergarten in the fall and I could not feel any more confident that she is beyond prepared...however, I. AM. NOT.

How does a parent even begin to cope with the idea that their child will enter the big world of institutionalized learning?!?!? (Ok, so I know I can get through this, like all parents do; perhaps I'm being a little dramatic) My child will trot off into the morning horizon, toting her pink with purple polka dot back pack and this will be the first of many steps she will take farther and farther away from me.

So how does a mother go through "Kindergarten Readiness"? I have visited the school, met the administration, met the school nurse, the teachers, etc. I've requested that they put me on speed dial (half joking) and I have assured them that I will volunteer for anything that they may need me to do to assist them in my child's learning. Maybe this would have been easier for me had she attended a preschool program away from me. I have always felt that I was able to provide both her and myself with the best possible situation being that I own and operate the child care center and preschool where she has attended since her birth. I wonder if I only convinced myself that out of selfishness for not wanting to share her with the world. I have no doubt that Marissa will not only adjust well into Kindergarten, I am certain she will excell. I guess the only thing I can do for myself at this point is be happy that I had her with me during her early years and remind myself that no matter what she will always be my baby. I guess it wouldn't hurt to suggest a little more sternly about being added to the school's speed dial...